Jay Leno takes aim at President Obama, Jon and Kate

In case you’ve missed The Jay Leno Show this week, here are some of the best wisecracks from the former Tonight Show host and new prime time talking head, Jay Leno:
“In a global survey of the most admired countries, the United States went from number seven to number one. They don’t admire us enough to give us the Olympics, but…”
“And over the weekend, the President and the First Lady celebrated their wedding anniversary. They went out to dinner. There were no gifts exchanged. They didn’t exchange any gifts because, as you know, that would be socialism.”

“And President Obama had a very tense 25-minute meeting aboard Air Force One last week with General McChrystal, our top general in Afghanistan. And apparently, McChrystal gave a speech in London last week very critical of Obama’s policies in Afghanistan. And Obama was not happy. In fact, he considers it so important, he’s thinking about canceling his upcoming appearance on ‘Ellen.’”
“Well, congratulations to President Obama and first lady Michelle. They celebrated their 17th wedding anniversary this week. Well, at first, they couldn’t agree where they should celebrate. He wanted to go to Chicago, she voted for Rio.”
“Governor Schwarzenegger said if he comes back to California, there should be no special treatment for Roman Polanski. I think that’s what he said. It was that or ‘I’m going to Japan to ski.’ I don’t know what he said.”
“Well, in response to criticism that he’s not fulfilling a campaign promise, the President’s national security adviser said President Obama will overturn the military’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy at the right time. When asked what the right time would be, he said, ‘Don’t ask, I’m not telling.’”
“Well, the Post Office told Congress this week they are sorry, but they can no longer continue to deliver Saturday’s mail on Saturday. Hey, I’d be happy to get Wednesday’s mail on Saturday.”
“Well, listen to this. You can’t call the swine flu swine flu anymore. It’s now the H1N1 virus. You know why this is? This is true. The pork lobby in Washington lobbied hard to get the name changed because they didn’t want people to think you could get sick by eating pork. I mean, bacon will still kill you; you just won’t get a runny nose.”
“According to reports from the Daily Telegraph, Iranian President Mahmoud Amedinejad is part Jewish. He has Jewish ancestry. Well, this is great. You know, he’s anti-Semitic. Now he can just kill himself.”
“Well, the latest job numbers are out. The bad news is we have the worst unemployment in 26 years. The good news, that unemployment also includes Jon from ‘Jon & Kate.’”